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No Tears Fall

Words rush and flit about like butterflies that would not be caught.  Slow down you think too fast.  Something hurts but I am the one running now.  It’s a dream.  I line up at the starting line and a man sneers at anyone who takes 5 hours to run a marathon.  Inadequate.  No!  I run, and Ben runs in front of me, too fast.  Slow down son.  He won’t.  Dimples and grins and laughing, so wild and free and fleet [...]

Two More Words about My Son: It’s Time

It was 6 o’clock.  Ben sat at the kitchen table in his pajamas.  As punishment for throwing rocks and biting another kid, he had spread mulch outside and then received an early bath.  I glanced at my husband and said, “I am going for a run.  You got the phone?  Dr. Myers should call on my cell phone.”  My almost bald, still-handsome, barrel-chested man nodded at me and asked, “You told her it’s time?  Are you okay?”  I shook my [...]

Petals Running Across the Street

The March wind blew and Ben squealed with delight. “Look, Jim, the petals are running!”  Ben’s voice carried at 120 decibels and I gripped Ben’s hand and while the breeze rustled my older son’s wavy, dark blond hair, my throat ached and I worried that my youngest child would scream about the petals for the rest of the morning.  So I held his little hand and watched the petals running and part of my brain laughed with Ben; and yet, [...]

One More Word? Yes, He is My Son

This afternoon, I walked away from the lunch table at my son’s school and a woman’s voice followed me.  “Is that your son?” I held the back of my hand up.  Was it rude of me?  I didn’t care.  Not one more word.  I had heard enough.  She had already tried to talk to me and I had ignored her, this Spanish “lunch lady” with the wide cheekbones and the light in her brown eyes.  I had already heard about [...]