For two years in therapy, I swore (well, not against God–you know what I mean, right?) that I did not need to confront my birth family. I tried, years ago, to ask my mom about it, and she just said that my brother was a horny bastard. Sigh. I know they won’t believe me, and THAT kept me silent for years.The thing is, I didn’t have a big confrontation. I couldn’t bear that sort of pain. But I did not need to. They’re not on trial. They got off easy. And it still scares me–what will they say when they find my writing?

Well, they will say I am lying. That I am insane. But you know what? I’m free. I’ve made it out. And no, it won’t make a difference in their lives but speaking the truth has made a difference in my own. It was hard, and I understand thinking it doesn’t matter. But you do matter, and so do your feelings and experiences. You have a story.

I only told mine out of desperation. I was falling apart. Turning all of that pain and anger against myself. The thing is, the anger that you speak of was much more dangerous when I stuffed it. Now that I am expressing it, I have found it is a lot less scary and a ton less harmful to me than keeping it all trapped within. And I am proud of myself. Wow. I am.

Thank you for that last sentence. Words like that give me the strength and the courage I need to keep riding forward. You will do what is right for you when you do it.

And whatever you do, just know that you are loved. By me, and by so many others.

A few days have passed and I feel a lot better now. The relative who had sent me the e-mail apologized really sincerely and I felt just a tad stronger at the end of it all.

Big smiles at you.